Everything Becomes F: The Perfect Insider
Chapter Eleven Colorless Weekend
Miss, it's time to go.
I know, Suwano.
You haven't come to Saikawa-sensei's office lately.
That's because...
The police told me to avoid contacting him—
Is that all?
I don't think...
...he needs me.
Why?
He admires Dr. Magata.
After what happened,
I think those feelings are even stronger.
Sensei wants to be free, like she is.
I'm only a chain that holds him back from that freedom.
May I share my opinion?
Yes.
I don't know anyone who thinks about you as much as he does.
Dr. Magata!
Hello.
How have you been, Saikawa-sensei?
What are you doing here?
Did I not promise we would meet again?
The police are after you.
Shall we go somewhere else?
Why did you do it?
The answer is "to go outside."
That isn't true.
May I have a cigarette?
Sure.
You smoke?
No, I have never tried it.
You seemed to be enjoying yours so much,
I wanted to try one for myself.
I take no responsibility.
Oh, this...
It smells like my father.
Are you okay?
Yes! What an interesting experience!
Why do you smoke something that's bad for you?
I don't know.
Perhaps I'm not that attached to life.
No one fears death.
They fear the life that leads to death.
If one could die without suffering, no one would fear death, right?
You're right.
Being alive is, itself, an exception.
The natural state of things is death.
And life is, itself, a kind of illness.
When the illness is cured, your life vanishes.
You did it to die, didn't you?
Indeed. My initiation into freedom.
You're going to turn yourself into the police?
If I do, I might not be executed.
Why don't you...
um, well...
kill yourself?
I think I would like someone else to kill me.
I want someone else to interfere with my life.
Is that not what wanting to be loved means,
Saikawa-sensei?
No life is born of its own volition.
Isn't the instinctive desire of beings,
born not of their own volition,
for their lives to be taken in the same way?
I understand the theory, but...
No, I don't understand it, after all.
However, that's simply how I'm programmed.
But what you're saying may be right.
It is right for me, but not for you.
Either way, the concept of "right" means no more than that.
Um, doctor?
Why did you come to see me?
Because I liked what you said in that sea.
"You can't smoke underwater."
A statement I could not have predicted.
That is the only reason.
You have many eyes.
Miraculously, they do not mix.
No, your other selves created them
to protect the real you.
Your structure is very similar to my own.
What is the difference between you and me?
Hmm...
I would say the biggest difference is our clocks.
So, in another hundred years,
would I be able to be like you?
One hundred years would not be enough.
Someone is waiting for me.
Let us say our farewells, Saikawa-sensei.
Who is waiting for you?
The policemen guarding you.
I was actually planning to have you kiss me.
But...
You wouldn't do that.
No, I wouldn't.
Will you kiss Nishinosono-san?
Mind your own business, doctor.
The reason she is still alive today
is because of you, yes?
I don't know.
From your perspective, the relationship
between us may have no value at all.
What do you mean?
For example,
I say a meaningless joke, and she gets irritated.
Instead of giving up, I tell another joke.
She gets more irritated.
I've kept that up.
And now, the right amount of time has passed.
That's all.
In other words,
meaningless acts can sometimes save people?
Farewell, Saikawa-sensei.
Excuse me.
May I come in, Saikawa-sensei?
Ciao...
What does "ciao" mean?
Goodbye.
Don't say it, then.
Did you like that one?
Was that a new joke?
Indeed.
Don't do that, either. It's embarrassing.
I'll make you some coffee.
Cake?
A roll cake.
You keep refusing to go with me, so I bought it myself.
After I have some coffee, I'll leave.
I've got this, too.
You still have them?
These are the last two.
It seems you got those a long time ago.
That's right.
It appears I won't need protection anymore.
So you knew, Sensei...
Until yesterday,
my uncle said I should stay away from you, too.
That it'd be dangerous if something happened.
Terrible, huh?
Until yesterday?
They learned that Dr. Magata was in Tokyo.
They caught her accessing a computer terminal in Tokyo.
So I guess the detectives left for Tokyo this morning.
Huh? Then what about my guards?
They're gone now.
What's wrong, Sensei?
Oh, nothing.
Dr. Magata pretended to be the non-existent Magata Miki,
and appeared on the roof with Director Shindo.
Yeah.
That's when she stabbed Director Shindo.
But Director Shindo accepted his death,
without alerting anyone.
Why was he able to do that?
Most likely, love.
Being killed is love?
Love has no single shape.
But...
Then, when she died,
did Dr. Magata's daughter feel love?
I don't know that.
I don't understand!
I can't believe that's love.
I don't know, either.
But for those two, it was probably a very natural thing.
In the end, don't you think the doctor just wanted to be free?
And to achieve that, she was willing to do whatever it took?
I'm not Dr. Magata...
But don't you know how she feels?
Don't you also want to be free?
Nishinosono-kun?
Because we're the ones who are lacking something, right?
Dr. Magata is more pure than anyone, right?
She's the person you admire, right?
Even if that's true, you have no right to blame me for it.
Right now, I'm very sad!
Why won't you understand?!
I can't help it. We're different people.
But...
I'll accept your contradictions.
Even if you start sobbing or hitting me,
I won't leave this place.
You mustn't cry.
If you cry, you'll turn into cheese toast.
That's right, isn't it?
Nishinosono-kun?
Yes?
The first time I took one of Nishinosono-sensei's classes...
You mean my dad?
In the very first lesson, he asked this:
"Did you all do your reviews?"
And I answered honestly and said, "No."
And he said,
"Okay, study the first chapter for next week."
That was all he said. And then he left the classroom.
The next week,
I'd mostly reviewed it.
When class started, he said this:
"Was there anything you didn't understand?"
No one answered.
"If you understand, there's nothing left for me to do.
Read chapter two for next week," he said.
And he left the classroom again.
A pretty easy job, huh?
And the next week,
I read the book seriously and thought up some questions.
And I asked my question.
What do you think happened?
He said, "Figure it out for yourself," didn't he?
No, he spent the next four weeks
answering my question.
And at the end, here's what he said:
"This is my answer to Saikawa Sohei-kun's question.
What's the next question?
Does anyone else have questions from chapters one and two?"
Sorry.
That wasn't a very interesting story, huh?
No...
Just hearing about my dad
makes me happy.
Lately, there aren't any teachers like him.
Several years later, I met you.
The magic trick!
Yeah, you were so proud of it.
Because no one had ever figured it out before.
At that moment,
I hated you.
How many years has it been?
Nearly ten.
I see.
The girl who almost cried when I figured out her magic trick
grew up into
a girl who looked good in a purple dress.
I liked that dress.
I knew that.
That's why I wore it that day.
After that day, you changed a little.
Yes.
Your makeup and clothes became flashier.
That's right.
And the way you expressed your feelings became more and more extreme.
Yes, I won't deny that.
I was a little worried.
Not just a little...
You were always by my side.
Thanks to you, I learned many more jokes.
Too many.
I'll start narrowing them down.
No, please keep at it.
Thanks.
Sensei?
What?
Did you ever tell Gido-san stuff like this?
Setsuko?
When you're alone, do you ever talk about important things like this?
No... Her husband's usually with us.
She's married?
Her name changed to "Gido" after she married.
Um... Are you and she...
She's my little sister.
She's a bit weird, but she's an interesting girl.
No way. Then that T-shirt...
Yeah... Setsuko gave it to me.
Eggplant
Sensei! From now on, I'll buy your shirts!
Understood?
Go ahead.
Oh.
I kept meaning to say this.
What?
That dried shiitake mushroom...
Yes?
It's good for anemia,
but you can't eat it like that.
You soak it in water.
And then, you can eat it or use it for soup stock.
Why didn't you tell me that until now?
I was waiting for you to notice.
Did you deliberately not tell me?
I couldn't say.
Jeez!
Mother...
I think humans need the sea more than the Moon.
That means that it is strongly connected to humanity.
Humans are connected to many
other things, aren't they?
Indeed.
Every individual human affects
the surrounding environment.
But humans do not exist for the sake of the things and people around them.
Often, they mistakenly think that they wish to exist
for the sake of others, or to help everyone.
They cannot accept that they don't know why they exist, yes?
They always want an answer.
That is the nature of the animals called "humans."
Is it wrong to want an answer?
No.
It is not wrong to want one.
But there is no perfect answer.
But continuing to seek one is very important.
So you can get close to it, right?
You could think of it that way.
But I do not yet know.
Then there are things even you don't understand?
Of course.
Humans can be kind because there are things they do not understand.
Why?
If they knew everything,
they would attempt nothing.
If they attempted nothing,
nothing new would happen.
Humans seek answers to the things they do not know.
That is how kindness,
nostalgia, joy, and fun are born.
I always ask you questions.
By seeking answers this way,
will I be able to become kind?
Yes.
Always continue seeking, even when I am gone.
Continue seeking, even when no one answers.
Seek the answers within yourself.
You must not forget that.
And that will become your kindness.
I understand, Mother.
Michiru? This is Kishio.
Say hello.
Oh?
You're here, as well, Uncle?
Yes, this is Michiru.
She's grown up, has she not?